August 4th:: Guess who’s having a “falling in love with love” night?

August 1st:: Things that make me really giddy:

1. Talking to friends about love-ishy things.
2. Hairspray auditions.
3. Standing for 3+ hours in my black low-heeled pumps and somehow my feet are never sore.
4. Vanilla divinity.
5. Finding Ragina Spektor songs that I’ve never heard. Thanks youtube.
6. Discovering that its okay for adults to enjoy the occasional fantasy TV series. Everyone needs a departure from reality once in while.
7. Getting my voice back!
8. The moment in “The Sound of Music” when Maria returns to the Von Trapp children.
9. Hope.

July 31st:: The Great Deceit

Christianity isn’t about me getting saved. It’s about me—through experiencing the awesome, glory-filled, holy, pure, love (and so-on and so-forth) love of God—realizing my depravity and iniquity before him. The desire for his compassion and presence is so great and my sin is the great divide. I must surrender my will, and embrace the life provided for me through the sacrifice of the perfect son, Jesus Christ. My conscience, my Holy Spirit, guides me as I pursue a new life of glorifying God.

Because He is good, I must strive to be better.

This morning, during my shower, I realized that we are basically pawns, minor characters, in this life. The great deceit of modern Christianity is that it is about me getting saved and going to heaven. Who needs God in that last sentiment? God created all things to show his power, to express his love and share life. He is the ultimate celebrity and deserves more glory than we give him. In this area of life, I fail daily.

Sometimes even our worship tends to be self gratifying. Who are you singing for when you stand in a pew at church? Who has given you the freedom to sing at the top of your lungs while driving down the highway?

Jul 30th:: The Sound of Music…and what happens back stage

The show went on without a hitch on stage! I had such a blast last night. And I think there was a real energy and excitement in the audience when they realized the power of what they were sitting through. Titusville Playhouse’s opening night of “The Sound of Music” was magical.

Even now, I feel like I am running through this weeks to do lists, feeling like I forgot stuff. Did I finish those nun bibs? Check. The nazi arm bands? Check check, ugh. What about the hair pieces. Oh god, I hope I didn’t lose one. Where did I stick my super comfy black pumps?

Still no idea about that. But I have until tonight to find those.

I confess: There was one moment last night when I thought I’d really screwed up.

I’m kind of a freak about being on time. When people are late, it’s stressful. Especially when we’re moments from the curtain swinging open. Worst case scenario is that you play it off and continue on with the scene. But that’s not the “ultimate ending.”

So, before the party scene I was ‘a fixin’ people’s hair and lost track of time, and the fact that I still had to figure out how to attach a broken bow tie to a dude’s shirt. Suddenly the song before our big waltzing scene was playing and I found that the zipper on the back of my dress had busted! Holy crayola! Thank goodness for swiftly fingered nuns and safety pins.

And that was my close call. :) Lesson learned? Make sure I am dressed and ready before fussing with everyone else.

***

I seriously love our backdrop mural. The audience sees about a third of it, but every night I look at it and melt a little. This isn’t no po-dunk production. This is art!

July 21st:: The sick method actress speaks, because it is what she does best.

I’d like to think that if I was very serious about pursuing the theatrical arts, that I’d be a method actor. The way they throw their lives out of whack in order to better understand this character they’re attempting to be is fascinating. It is elevated make believe. And make believe is my favorite part of childhood.

In the Sound of Music (which opens July 29th at the Titusville Playhouse) I portray 3 very unimportant walk on characters. But I strive to commit the crap out of them. When I am a nun, I am the most pious, naive, married-est to God of them all. When I am Baroness Elberfield I am the epitome of social butterfly. And in the end, when I win third place in the talent show, I accept it with pride, shock, and determination to keep the family business afloat through such tumultuous political times. 

Life threw the role of “sickly person” at me and I hesitantly accepted. Then embraced it. And now I’m sick of it. Erm. Tired of it.

Today I tried something new. I method acted that I was fine. I rationalized that if I denied my suffering, it would go away entirely.

Welp. I’m still sick. But I did get a lot done today, and I plan on seeing a doctor tomorrow. I am the determined patient, committed to getting better so I can sing my lungs out this weekend—if it’s the last thing I do!

Just kidding, I have bigger aspirations than that.

July 16th:: Weekend Update

m finally feeling the urge to write about life again. Yay! Here’s The Good, The Unpleasant, and The Ugly (then something positive to end with) of this summer.

The Good:

• I’ve been cast in Tpi’s The Sound of Music. At first, I was a nun, and now I’ve got a slew of other walk on roles. I have decided that one of the most rewarding feelings in life is when a director points at you and says, “You have a line.” And waltzing. And hearing the sound of women singing Latin with correct punctuation.
• At the beginning of summer I was given the opportunity to work with Hope for North Brevard to put together a coffee shop at Bldg 418. It’s been SUCH a neat experience. Thanks to FIT, I’ve taken a couple free business courses that are aiding in my crash course in how to put together a business in a summer… The vision is to start a non-for profit coffee shop that is a safe hangout for young people. And it will be open after 8. In Titusville. Yeah, crazy! I know. It’s a great venue for concerts and parties, and I’m hoping to plan a handful this fall. I’m still praying if this is where God wants me to invest my time next spring, or if he has other plans. But for now, I’m just taking it one project at a time.
• The lePastiche accessories are turning into a jolly little business. While it’s  not my main source of income, I’ve invested so much time into making these precious little flowers. This summer we’re holding our first photo contest in hopes of sparking buzz about the brand. You should look us up on facebook! The etsy shop has been on vacation, but soon I want to start it up again with an etsy exclusive collection.
• I have rediscovered my love of buttoned blouses.
• This bullet deserves a higher place in line, but those previous ones were just warm ups… God has been good to me. Very good. He has surrounded me with really intellectual Christians who have encouraged me to dig deeper in my theology and knowledge of the Bible. I feel like my eyes have been opened to a greater understanding of who God is, why God does what he does, and my responsibility as a puny human on this earth. This summer has been like my deconstruction phase in my faith journey.
• Summer KAD (Kid’s Adventure Days) has been so much fun this year! It’s basically been an ode to Star Wars, because all of the kids are fans. This past Thursday we had our big Star Wars party and celebrated with a cake (Ugly), costumes, pin the buns on Princess Leia and pinata death stars. These kids are the bomb. 
• A friend told me about Americanos, the greatest coffee beverage in the world.

The Unpleasant

• I am on the brink of graduation, which means when I’m not thinking about God, flowers, SOM, books or boys, I’m stressing about my future career. All summer, I thought God was telling me to go one way, but these past few weeks I’ve experienced a new “stirring of the spirit” to go in a new direction. The problem is, is that I don’t have leads—just a new interest in the “want” ads section of craigslist.
• My room is overflowing with fabrics and needles. My new bad habit is sewing in bed, and using my mattress as a pin cushion. Let me tell you: Rolling onto pins during REM sleep is VERY unpleasant.
• It won’t stop raining. There’s something about the weather that makes me want to stay in doors and be a recluse.
• My voice is suffering from all this abuse…Shouting at a room full of sugar-high children, sticking my face in a dust-mite filled box of memories, and singing as loud as I possibly can at rehearsal is killing it. On the plus side: it’s another excuse to drink hot coffee!
• Zach (my brother) is moving out in a couple of weeks. Sadface times infinity. 
• Still single. (coughsarahcough)

The Ugly

• Today I was cat-called for the first time in years. I’m not really sure what the guy was thinking, because I’m wearing long jeans and a jean shirt. But first he stopped his car where I was walking, commented on my “hott bod” (HA!!), asked if I was single and if he could have my number. Thank goodness I am a decent short distance sprinter otherwise he would have continued with his strange pick up techniques.

Yeah. Really bizarre. As soon as I get my nun’s habit, I might wear it all the time. Me no-likey creepers.

Something Positive to End With

• If you are an art/lit lover you have to see Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris. It is a masterpiece that actually encourages contentment. Contentment!

July 13th:: The Crazy Random Happenstance

 

So, I was driving down the road and saw this raggedy man holding a cardboard sign. A couple of things popped into my mind. Was the length of his hair directly proportional two how long he’s been without house? If so, I’d give him a couple of months. Where did he get he black paint for the sign? Was that really paint? What did the sign say? Gotta lock my doors.

I was on my way to rehearsal when I saw this man at the intersection, and because a police had been trailing my tail for a couple of miles, made a hasty stop as soon as the light turned yellow. Ordinarily, I chance those kind of lights.

Then I saw something extraordinary. 

The man with the sign leaped into a bush.

This may sound like a cliche movie scene, but I had never seen a flesh man act so skittishly. His eyebrows shot up, his sign was abandoned and he kicked up his heels as he threw himself into a fern. No cop would catch the likes of him. Nope, not Tommy Shaggymobeard.

Something about that really enchanted me. And now you know.

Forget me not!

Hello friends!

Its about time I dust this site off and start transferring some of the content that I’ve been posting to my *gasp* tumlbr account.

If you don’t want to wait, feel free to check other other other (yeah, I switch around a lot…seasons change!) blog: fantasticallife.tumblr.com.

Taking a Blogging Break

Hi ya'll!

You might have noticed a shocking lack of posts this month. And that's because I'm taking a little break. :)

I realized that I am NOT one of those writers who furiously scrawls little notes in a notebook, or could tell you in poetic prose what I was feeling at the moment I realized I'd lost my debit card. I blog through a filter, knowing someone will read this, and in turn I hold back the depth of my emotions.

I've also noticed that when I blog, I'm kind of absorbed with ME.

So, today I bought a little yellow journal and I'm going to be completely honest in it. It's not very thick, and the binding is cheap. But it marks a new moment in my writing.

Who knows, maybe some day you'll purchase a copy of "The Private Journal of Anna Williams." :)

See ya 'round the blogosphere.

Hours and hours of things to do while strapped into the back seat

1. Finish reading my Donald Miller book.
2. Read anything else on kindle.
3. Cross my fingers that I don't get car-sick.
4. Flip through my 2 new Harper's Bazaar magazines and pick out inspiring colors.
5. Take pictures of my feet.
6. Take pictures of my face.
7. Delete pictures.
8. Listen to music.
9. Nap.
10. Drink my Arnold Palmer Arizona tea.
11. Work on my screenplay.
12. Flip through my screenwriting book.
13. Beg for a pit-stop.
14. Take pictures of everyone hopping out of the car.
15. Buy some chewy sprees. These are my favorite traveling food.
16. Listen to music/read until I fall asleep.
17. Take pictures of the Mississippi bridge.
18. Text Sarah sad pictures.
19. Pick at my nailpolish.
20. Whine when my nails look crappy.
21. Start a rebel rousing game of "ABCs."
22. Take a nap.
23. Take pictures of everyone else taking a nap.
24. Tweet.
25. Braid all of my hair into little cornrows.
26. Try to nap, itch head, remove cornrows.
27. Text Sarah again.
28. Wish I had downloaded more interesting books to my kindle.
29. Remember that I left something plugged in at home.
30. Take a nap.


I guess I'm in a destructive mood.

Packing

I don't want to do this. I'd rather load my kindle with more books.

We're le

Feeling a little entreprenurial

Good news: We’ve found THREE different boutiques who want to sell our flowers. I’ve had to process so much this week…like the difference between whole sale, retail, commission, etc… I think we’re doing it different with each boutique. If I’m getting paid at the end of the day, I guess I’m okay with it!

Let me take you on the tour.


Our

Our friend Janie told me about Divine Images many months ago, but I just didn't have my act together until recently. Last week I contacted the store's owner, Michelle, about selling my flowers. Her reactions to the flowers was priceless, and I ended up making her a bunch for her daughter's wedding.

Now we've got a spot on the top shelf of her display, and she has kindly offered to sell our flowers to the local cosmetology school.

I decided to give City Glitter (its like our town's version of Plato's Closet)a call and see if they sold items by local designers. She said they were interested, but we'd have to pay to rent a space. So, again, I hesitated and waited. Last week I was in the store selling some shirts, and I felt the need to try again. This time, she seemed more enthusiastic and I decided to take the plunge.

She picked her favorite flowers out, and helped us to put together a nice display. Our stuff fits in so well with the rest of her inventory!

That's my LOST inspired outfit. I don't dress for summer. I'm a layer-er.

Today, we were revisiting a place in Cocoa Village that had expressed interest in our flowers. Unfortunately, they wanted to take half the profits which would mean driving up the prices of the flowers. I highly doubt anyone would pay that much for hair accessories (I could be wrong!) but we didn't have a peace about it.

Good news! My friend Amy Joy's aunt owns a shop in proximity. We weren't going to drop by, because we had hoped she could join us when we took our flowers there, but we thought "why not?" and gave it a shot. Ba da da da! She loved them a took a bunch! It was thrilling.

That's us, feeling incandescently happy.

(Check our the LePastiche facebook page for more pictures from VernaFlora!)

It is so nice to have all of this business-y stuff taken care of. I'm ready to get creative again.

AAANNNDDD Saturday I'm leaving for Texas, which means NO business for a week. I'm struggling to wrap my head around being out of town for 8 days. But I've been watching a lot of LOST, so I know it's doable.

Learn to love

I feel like I have to tell the long story, because it’s cool how this blessing came about.

Last week, I went thrifting with Maria and Becky. It was at that time that I told the girl “if you buy a shirt made of polyester, I’ll make you a flower and keep the surplus fabric.” Nellie-who-makes-potholders overheard my little proposal, and, excited by the prospect of chatting with a fellow crafter, chimed into the conversation. She queried me about my business, then told me about her own (the potholders).

I was in kind of a hurry, because it was 30 minutes till closing. I really needed to get some fabric, and get a deal. You gotta get thrift store cashiers in the right mood if you want to haggle. Trying to haggle five minutes before closing is a no-no.

Anyways.

She started talking at Maria, and told me to examine a wedding dress so I could pick off supplies. It was an $150 dress, so of course I wasn’t going to buy it, but this was my moment to escape the conversation.

Nellie chatted with Maria for a while longer, and I felt a little guilty about how I had treated the situation. Maria had really taken an interest in this lady. She listened attentively as Nellie repeated that she “only makes pot holders in one side” and reacted enthusiastically to Nellie’s list of sports-related fabric patterns. I was intrigued.

In his book Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller said, “…sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself…” This quote has been repeating in circles on the bright LCD screen in my brain. As I watched Maria, her love for this complete stranger was contagious and convicting. She showed me how to care.

So I listened to Nellie. Nellie lives alone in the boonies. She sews potholders on her one hundred year old Singer that her father had purchased for 30 dollars in Kissimmee. She worked out at the Wild Life Refuge, but now her income comes from Social Security and her potholders. When she can’t sleep, she sews. She’s lonely. She gave Maria her number, and asked that we call her if we need any potholders, or want to help her cut fabric.

And that’s Nellie.

The next day, I went to another thrift store and struck up a conversation with the owner. Determined to get to know this lady, I asked her questions about the shop and she told me everything there was to know about the store. It was a God-inspired operation. Before managing at the shop, she did estate sales. That’s how she met the owner of the De Ja Vu Salon in Downtown. After the owner of that place passed away, this lady—I forgot her name! Let’s call her Pat—took on their inventory and is selling it for the widower. He wants to “take back his garage” and Pat is enthusiastic about helping him.

After we parted ways, I felt a fresh wave of caring for humanity. Its surprising how out of touch I had gotten.

I told Danielle about the thrift store that sold the boutiques old inventory, and she suddenly (urgently) asked if this beaded top was at the thrift shop. I’d remembered running my hands through the beaded draping, taking pleasuring in the cool, heavy beads. Yes, yes it was.

The next day, Danielle and I went back. The shirt was there and was selling for $74. A little expensive if you asked me. And Danielle only had $40 cash. So we haggled. I told Pat about Danielle’s cash situation, and Pat said if I pay the tax she’d let Danielle have the shirt for $40. A 1920s original flapper top for $40s. $40. (I feel the need to say it again, because I never type of the $ symbol).$$$$

And that’s the long of it.

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”

—

Kathleen Kelly from You’ve Got Mail.

I relate to everything Kate says in this film. This has never happened before.

Summer fun

I present to you the lovely Catherine Tate:

One day, I hope I run into her as I am casually walking down the streets of London. We’ll have a meet cute, become real chums, and then soon after realizing that I’m a loony bird—she’ll make a comedy sketch about my life.

Catherine Tate could do a good Anna Williams.

These past few weeks have been spent in “acclimation mode.” I’ve been like a child in a candy store, and by child I mean single, part-time employed lady and by candy store I mean nothing to do with my days. Reaction: hyperactivity aka more flowers!

Yes, I mostly make flowers and watch Netflix. My current fix is Arrested Development, Lost, and really offbeat Indie romances.

This afternoon I watched a film called Timer which is about an alternate future where scientists have discovered how to predict the time one finds one’s soul mate, and how people deal with that. It was a really interesting plot. The script was pretty good, but the overuse of f*bombs took some of the refinement from the film. I believe that if a person’s gonna use swearing in a script, the plot really needs to deserve it. Plot and swearing aside, the characters were plausible, but I didn’t connect with them. Mostly because I thought the heroine was going to be Christina Applegate, but it turned out to be anther blonde Christina that lacked adorableness. And the lead male was whimpy. And last night I just watched You’ve Got Mail and so I am currently comparing ALL men to Tom Hanks, so it may be impossible for anyone to be that good.

However,

Tonight I went swing dancing with Amy. We had a fun time with the free beginner lesson (basically, triple step-triple step- rock step), and some friends begged us to stay for intermediate. But intermediate costs five dollars…and is an hour longer.

Then Matt (aka almost as suave as Tom Hanks) paid for our lesson.

And there was a perfect male to female ratio because of it. And I had a dancing breakthrough, so it felt like a win!

subject change

(I always feel bad when I abruptly change topics in one post. But I really must.)

LePastiche is going to thrive this summer! I have discovered a shop that is willing to sell our flowers and NOT charge us to rent a space. Which is fantastic. And the owners are fabulous Christian women who’s reaction to seeing the inventory totally made my week.

Its 12:30 on the dot. I think it’s an appropriate time to say goodnight.

Philadelphia Strawberry Cream Cheese makes toasted whole wheat bagels (aka, thick & chewy cardboard) taste like Valentine's day.

Accessories don’t make the girl, but they may reveal how crazy she is.

With freshly painted nails and pretty flowers, last night I was ready to go out.

Painted nails asked, “Anna, why can’t you seem to capture the orangy hues on camera?”

“Oh, you’re so illusive,” responded pretty flowers.

Anna didn’t mind the banter between her accessories. However, she could feel new sunglasses pinching her nose ever so slightly out of jealousy. New sunglasses had just tagged along for the ride.

This day, last year

Sometimes I browse through my old posts to gauge how much my life has improved... Last year on May 12th, life was good. I had started my (failed) summer reading challenge, was pushing through post-Ragtime blues, and really involved with Fusion's music.

Fond, fond memories. Why must things change?

Fortunately, books always stay the same. And I've decided to pick up with where I left of with my thrifted summer reading list.

Maybe my tastes will have changed a little, or my desire to leave no book unfinished with keep me on track.

I can do this. Do you have any cheap romance novel recommendations?

ha ha... I love re-captioned book covers.

Taste of Culture of the Day

Google surprised me this morning with its commiserative GIF logo paying tribute to Martha Graham. Its so strange how a little movement, a symbol, can evoke so much emotion.

For those of you who have no idea who she is, google her. Basically, she was the forerunner of modern dance and a brilliant choreographer. I studied her the semester I took a modern dance class, and really came to appreciate the expressive potential of the human body, and how limitation really do reflect our psyche.

Check out her dance "Lamentation." While there are multiple versions, she always wears the constraining Periwinkle tube dress. Have you ever felt that way before?

Need/want to do

Without work, I am faced with one of life’s ultimate challenges: conquering the will. Its almost one, and so far today I’ve shipped out a couple flower orders, taken a shower, and indulged in quite a lot of The Catherine Tate Show. She is SO versatile/funny. Yep. That’s about all I’ve done.

Need to do:

- put on an outfit, take hair out of towel…but it’s just so warm and clean against my scalp…

- apply for a scholarship

- clean this overwhelmed-fabric-shop of a room

- a little laundry

- make plans for swing dancing

- get my fancy scissors out of the car

- charge my ipod

Want to do:

- re-paint my nails

- make more flowers!

- finish re-reading Chalice

- Buy a whole lot of music from Amazon.com

- stay in my bathrobe and drink coffee all day

 

I need a lifecoach to yell “OUT OF BED, INTO PANTS, NOW!”