August 4th:: Guess who’s having a “falling in love with love” night?

August 1st:: Things that make me really giddy:

1. Talking to friends about love-ishy things.
2. Hairspray auditions.
3. Standing for 3+ hours in my black low-heeled pumps and somehow my feet are never sore.
4. Vanilla divinity.
5. Finding Ragina Spektor songs that I’ve never heard. Thanks youtube.
6. Discovering that its okay for adults to enjoy the occasional fantasy TV series. Everyone needs a departure from reality once in while.
7. Getting my voice back!
8. The moment in “The Sound of Music” when Maria returns to the Von Trapp children.
9. Hope.

July 31st:: The Great Deceit

Christianity isn’t about me getting saved. It’s about me—through experiencing the awesome, glory-filled, holy, pure, love (and so-on and so-forth) love of God—realizing my depravity and iniquity before him. The desire for his compassion and presence is so great and my sin is the great divide. I must surrender my will, and embrace the life provided for me through the sacrifice of the perfect son, Jesus Christ. My conscience, my Holy Spirit, guides me as I pursue a new life of glorifying God.

Because He is good, I must strive to be better.

This morning, during my shower, I realized that we are basically pawns, minor characters, in this life. The great deceit of modern Christianity is that it is about me getting saved and going to heaven. Who needs God in that last sentiment? God created all things to show his power, to express his love and share life. He is the ultimate celebrity and deserves more glory than we give him. In this area of life, I fail daily.

Sometimes even our worship tends to be self gratifying. Who are you singing for when you stand in a pew at church? Who has given you the freedom to sing at the top of your lungs while driving down the highway?

Jul 30th:: The Sound of Music…and what happens back stage

The show went on without a hitch on stage! I had such a blast last night. And I think there was a real energy and excitement in the audience when they realized the power of what they were sitting through. Titusville Playhouse’s opening night of “The Sound of Music” was magical.

Even now, I feel like I am running through this weeks to do lists, feeling like I forgot stuff. Did I finish those nun bibs? Check. The nazi arm bands? Check check, ugh. What about the hair pieces. Oh god, I hope I didn’t lose one. Where did I stick my super comfy black pumps?

Still no idea about that. But I have until tonight to find those.

I confess: There was one moment last night when I thought I’d really screwed up.

I’m kind of a freak about being on time. When people are late, it’s stressful. Especially when we’re moments from the curtain swinging open. Worst case scenario is that you play it off and continue on with the scene. But that’s not the “ultimate ending.”

So, before the party scene I was ‘a fixin’ people’s hair and lost track of time, and the fact that I still had to figure out how to attach a broken bow tie to a dude’s shirt. Suddenly the song before our big waltzing scene was playing and I found that the zipper on the back of my dress had busted! Holy crayola! Thank goodness for swiftly fingered nuns and safety pins.

And that was my close call. :) Lesson learned? Make sure I am dressed and ready before fussing with everyone else.

***

I seriously love our backdrop mural. The audience sees about a third of it, but every night I look at it and melt a little. This isn’t no po-dunk production. This is art!

July 21st:: The sick method actress speaks, because it is what she does best.

I’d like to think that if I was very serious about pursuing the theatrical arts, that I’d be a method actor. The way they throw their lives out of whack in order to better understand this character they’re attempting to be is fascinating. It is elevated make believe. And make believe is my favorite part of childhood.

In the Sound of Music (which opens July 29th at the Titusville Playhouse) I portray 3 very unimportant walk on characters. But I strive to commit the crap out of them. When I am a nun, I am the most pious, naive, married-est to God of them all. When I am Baroness Elberfield I am the epitome of social butterfly. And in the end, when I win third place in the talent show, I accept it with pride, shock, and determination to keep the family business afloat through such tumultuous political times. 

Life threw the role of “sickly person” at me and I hesitantly accepted. Then embraced it. And now I’m sick of it. Erm. Tired of it.

Today I tried something new. I method acted that I was fine. I rationalized that if I denied my suffering, it would go away entirely.

Welp. I’m still sick. But I did get a lot done today, and I plan on seeing a doctor tomorrow. I am the determined patient, committed to getting better so I can sing my lungs out this weekend—if it’s the last thing I do!

Just kidding, I have bigger aspirations than that.

July 16th:: Weekend Update

m finally feeling the urge to write about life again. Yay! Here’s The Good, The Unpleasant, and The Ugly (then something positive to end with) of this summer.

The Good:

• I’ve been cast in Tpi’s The Sound of Music. At first, I was a nun, and now I’ve got a slew of other walk on roles. I have decided that one of the most rewarding feelings in life is when a director points at you and says, “You have a line.” And waltzing. And hearing the sound of women singing Latin with correct punctuation.
• At the beginning of summer I was given the opportunity to work with Hope for North Brevard to put together a coffee shop at Bldg 418. It’s been SUCH a neat experience. Thanks to FIT, I’ve taken a couple free business courses that are aiding in my crash course in how to put together a business in a summer… The vision is to start a non-for profit coffee shop that is a safe hangout for young people. And it will be open after 8. In Titusville. Yeah, crazy! I know. It’s a great venue for concerts and parties, and I’m hoping to plan a handful this fall. I’m still praying if this is where God wants me to invest my time next spring, or if he has other plans. But for now, I’m just taking it one project at a time.
• The lePastiche accessories are turning into a jolly little business. While it’s  not my main source of income, I’ve invested so much time into making these precious little flowers. This summer we’re holding our first photo contest in hopes of sparking buzz about the brand. You should look us up on facebook! The etsy shop has been on vacation, but soon I want to start it up again with an etsy exclusive collection.
• I have rediscovered my love of buttoned blouses.
• This bullet deserves a higher place in line, but those previous ones were just warm ups… God has been good to me. Very good. He has surrounded me with really intellectual Christians who have encouraged me to dig deeper in my theology and knowledge of the Bible. I feel like my eyes have been opened to a greater understanding of who God is, why God does what he does, and my responsibility as a puny human on this earth. This summer has been like my deconstruction phase in my faith journey.
• Summer KAD (Kid’s Adventure Days) has been so much fun this year! It’s basically been an ode to Star Wars, because all of the kids are fans. This past Thursday we had our big Star Wars party and celebrated with a cake (Ugly), costumes, pin the buns on Princess Leia and pinata death stars. These kids are the bomb. 
• A friend told me about Americanos, the greatest coffee beverage in the world.

The Unpleasant

• I am on the brink of graduation, which means when I’m not thinking about God, flowers, SOM, books or boys, I’m stressing about my future career. All summer, I thought God was telling me to go one way, but these past few weeks I’ve experienced a new “stirring of the spirit” to go in a new direction. The problem is, is that I don’t have leads—just a new interest in the “want” ads section of craigslist.
• My room is overflowing with fabrics and needles. My new bad habit is sewing in bed, and using my mattress as a pin cushion. Let me tell you: Rolling onto pins during REM sleep is VERY unpleasant.
• It won’t stop raining. There’s something about the weather that makes me want to stay in doors and be a recluse.
• My voice is suffering from all this abuse…Shouting at a room full of sugar-high children, sticking my face in a dust-mite filled box of memories, and singing as loud as I possibly can at rehearsal is killing it. On the plus side: it’s another excuse to drink hot coffee!
• Zach (my brother) is moving out in a couple of weeks. Sadface times infinity. 
• Still single. (coughsarahcough)

The Ugly

• Today I was cat-called for the first time in years. I’m not really sure what the guy was thinking, because I’m wearing long jeans and a jean shirt. But first he stopped his car where I was walking, commented on my “hott bod” (HA!!), asked if I was single and if he could have my number. Thank goodness I am a decent short distance sprinter otherwise he would have continued with his strange pick up techniques.

Yeah. Really bizarre. As soon as I get my nun’s habit, I might wear it all the time. Me no-likey creepers.

Something Positive to End With

• If you are an art/lit lover you have to see Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris. It is a masterpiece that actually encourages contentment. Contentment!

July 13th:: The Crazy Random Happenstance

 

So, I was driving down the road and saw this raggedy man holding a cardboard sign. A couple of things popped into my mind. Was the length of his hair directly proportional two how long he’s been without house? If so, I’d give him a couple of months. Where did he get he black paint for the sign? Was that really paint? What did the sign say? Gotta lock my doors.

I was on my way to rehearsal when I saw this man at the intersection, and because a police had been trailing my tail for a couple of miles, made a hasty stop as soon as the light turned yellow. Ordinarily, I chance those kind of lights.

Then I saw something extraordinary. 

The man with the sign leaped into a bush.

This may sound like a cliche movie scene, but I had never seen a flesh man act so skittishly. His eyebrows shot up, his sign was abandoned and he kicked up his heels as he threw himself into a fern. No cop would catch the likes of him. Nope, not Tommy Shaggymobeard.

Something about that really enchanted me. And now you know.

Forget me not!

Hello friends!

Its about time I dust this site off and start transferring some of the content that I’ve been posting to my *gasp* tumlbr account.

If you don’t want to wait, feel free to check other other other (yeah, I switch around a lot…seasons change!) blog: fantasticallife.tumblr.com.